The devil made him do it, ORU Pres says

According to a Fox “news” article, there is “no doubt” that the Virginia Tech massacre was the work of Satan. The Houston Chronicle reports that President Bush is now urging people who “see somebody or know somebody who is exhibiting abnormal behavior, you do something about it, to suggest that somebody take a look.”

So now, what? Being shy and not wanting to speak up in class is “abnormal behavior,” I guess. So, if you see anyone who’s shy, you’d better assume they probably are planning a school shooting. Especially with all this Satanic activity of late.

Also, anyone who writes disturbing things should be reported so someone can take a look at them. Like Stephen King, for instance. He’s very disturbing. If we don’t do something soon, he’ll probably take a handgun into Starbucks one day. Mark my words.

Actually, I should do a citizen’s arrest on myself. I’m shy! I hardly ever talk and find it difficult sometimes to meet people’s eyes. Also, I once wrote a short story that gave my ex-husband nightmares for 2 weeks. I don’t own any guns, but we all know how easy it would be for someone like me to get one. Just like that Cho kid did. All legal and everything.

So, I think somebody should do something about it! I suggest that somebody take a look! Really!

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